--_004_YQXPR0101MB1831209F8D6118EFF1F33F57DBF10YQXPR0101MB1831_ Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="_000_YQXPR0101MB1831209F8D6118EFF1F33F57DBF10YQXPR0101MB1831_" --_000_YQXPR0101MB1831209F8D6118EFF1F33F57DBF10YQXPR0101MB1831_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="Windows-1252" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Hi again, Re-attaching the revised version with a closer now to soften the ending (an= d I sorted that sentence you flagged so it flows better). Welcome your thoughts tomorrow. Thanks, Tim! AO [https://docs.google.com/uc?export=3Ddownload&id=3D1Ey3NavMVSeU9lrMs5VF2ZaG= qBvgvuY0I&revid=3D0B3Gn5-SySj7FcElFZ0JIUlgwOWJsZzQ3MkRjNXVoU0U4QndZPQ] ________________________________ From: Amanda Olliver Sent: July 9, 2019 3:02 PM To: Timothy Thomas Subject: Re: Article + Next steps Hi there! No worries all tweak and add a closer for you and send it back your way tod= ay that way when you=92re ready to review again you have the fresh copy. St= ay tuned! Thanks! AO On Jul 9, 2019, at 2:55 PM, Timothy Thomas > wrote: Hi Amanda, Busy day today so I haven't had much time to go through it but here is some= initial feedback, Two small comments: Point 2, third paragraph=85should it not be =93How deep= ly are you breathing=85=94 Also I think there should be a one line closing paragraph that ties back to= the overall subject. Right now it just ends. We'll get back to you tomorrow with more feedback around your article and q= uestions. Thanks! On Tue, Jul 9, 2019 at 7:57 AM Amanda Olliver > wrote: Morning Tim! Hope your week is off to a good start and you guys are settling into the ne= w place okay - I think you said it the move was last weekend, right? I'm happy to attach the first newsletter article for you. I used what she'd= done and tried to reframe the idea of the content into something a bit mor= e practical that would be useful to readers. It's less academic in nature, = and more "here's what you need to know". Your feedback is really important = so never hold back - always let me know what you think and if you'd like so= mething updated, just send me your thoughts and I'll revise on my end for y= ou. My goal is two-fold: I want to provide content that's fit for your purp= ose, and I also want to be an easy button for you and the team! Any feedbac= k you have will help me do that for you. Two questions I have in general are: - Do you guys have a set way of referring to older people? I've used "elder= ly", "aging population" and "seniors" interchangeably but if there's a pref= erred wording you'd like me to use going forward, let me know - Do you always include references? There weren't any in the original summa= ry you sent through but I can do a quick round-up today and include links t= o resources I consulted if you'd like that included I think that's everything from me on this one! Next up - to our conversatio= n at the office, if you'd like me to take on the Mail Chimp distribution, w= e'd just add $100 to the monthly fee bringing u